A Defense for Stormtroopers

For as long as I’ve been a stormtrooper, and actually for as long as I can remember, the Imperial Knights of the Galactic Empire have gotten a bad wrap. People joke that they, “couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn,” or that, “their armor is useless because they go down with one shot,” and the like. So, in the fashion of all good apologists I wanted to take a few moments and combat some of these “rumors.” To do so we’re going to focus on Star Wars ANH… though we will use references from the other films.

Rumor #1 – Stormtroopers can’t shoot.
Rumor’s origin – Luke & Leia’s escape from the Death Star aboard Han Solo’s Millennium Falcon.

This is, without a doubt, the biggest rumor about stormtroopers. So, it’s going to have the longest argument to disprove it.

First, let’s talk about how others in the films talk about stormtroopers. None of them act as if they’re “nothing to worry about.” In fact, from everything we hear about the troopers, and the way people react when they’re approached by them, surrounded by them, or even in the general vicinity of them, we can conclude that they were indeed a threat in the galaxy… and a scary one at that.

Now let’s move on and consider the stormtroopers firearms. Stormtroopers are equipped with “Blastech” E-11 blasters. These are, reportedly, some of the best blasters in the known galaxy, however, they are still blasters. Obi-Wan Kenobi even posited to Mr. Solo that blasters were “clumsy” and “random.” So, since Kenobi is our only hope of credible information on the subject, we must believe they are just that… not an accurate piece of equipment to begin with. But, if that’s the case, why use them? Well, apparently stormtroopers are much better at using these “clumsy” and “random” firearms than others. Obi-Wan also pointed out that the blaster points on the Jawa sandcrawler were, “too accurate for sand people,” and that, “only Imperial stormtroopers are so precise.” Keep in mind these “sand people” he’s referring to are the Tusken Raiders… the same group that sit more than a mile high on cliffs and pick off pod-racers traveling at around 900 km/h. So if he considers that sort of blaster fire “inaccurate” then how accurate must a stormtrooper be?

But, you say, Luke, Leia, Han, and the others still got away… not just once either. Very true, but for this we must look at the motive of the Empire… namely that of Lord Vader and Moff Tarkin.

Tarkin and Vader were unable to get any information from Princess Leia as to the whereabouts of her rebel fleet… so, they devised a plan to let her escape. That’s right, everyone remembers this key bit of information surfacing later in the film. They wanted to let them go to track them to their base… which they did. So for the stormtroopers on the Death Star to “miss” the escaping rebels was anything but “bad marksmanship”… as a matter of fact they were simply following orders!

Rumor #2 – Stormtroopers are stupid; a.ka. “weak-minded”.
Rumor’s origin – Obi-Wan using the “Jedi mind trick” on the sandtroopers in Mos Eisley.

It’s true that Obi-Wan and Luke get by clear and free with their droids. And it’s true that Obi-Wan tells Luke that, “The Force can have a strong influence on the weak-minded.” But this doesn’t mean stormtroopers are all stupid and / or “weak-minded.”

For this argument we must first look at the one giving the definition of “weak-minded” — namely Obi-Wan. We all agree that this is one powerful Jedi. He ranks right up there with master Yoda, or Mace Windu and the like. So, if you believe the Force is all they say it is, then you have to think that someone as powerful as Obi-Wan isn’t going to run into very many people who he can’t persuade using the “mind trick.” His definition of “weak-minded” might, therefore, be someone we consider rather intelligent.

This argument, however, brings to mind Luke’s attempt at using it on Jabba the Hutt. We know this failed, but we don’t know why. Was it because Jabba had such a great mind? Doubtful. Was it because 1) Luke wasn’t as powerful as Obi-Wan had been… or… 2) Luke wanted to fail, get caught, and destroy them all on the barge later. (R2-D2 did have his light saber and wasn’t in the throne room after all.) No matter the reason for it not working on Jabba we can easily discount it as an anomaly… which, in turn means we can easily say that, as far as Obi-Wan goes, most everyone is “weak-minded.”

Of course there’s also the consideration that, possibly, those troops were also acting on orders to let them go. Knowing, as the Emperor and Vader often did, that they would eventually retrieve the droids later on… and have a chance to destroy the rebel base.

Rumor #3 – Stormtrooper armor sucks.
Rumor’s origin – Luke saying, “I can’t see a thing in this helmet!” while wearing the stolen armor on the Death Star… and stormtroopers falling left and right with 1 shot on the Tantive IV

Let’s consider the second rumor source first shall we?

When the stormtroopers boarded the Tantive IV they were going up against rebels. Rebels are, by definition, law breakers. They’re terrorists. They work outside the bounds of the societal law to accomplish a fanatical goal. Sometimes they do things, and use things, that are wholly illegal to accomplish those goals. Take, for instance, rebels and terrorists in our present age. They are more-than-likely going to have weapons which are not only illegal, but incredibly destructive. Our military and law enforcement wear bullet proof, and even “bomb-proof” armor every day… yet many of them are killed every day as well. Is that because their “armor sucks?” Not at all! In fact it is the best money can buy… or technology can produce… but the “rebels” have weapons that are specifically made to pierce it!

What about on the Death Star when Luke, Leia, Han and the others are knocking the stormtroopers off one-by-one with the same blasters that the stormtroopers are using? Well… I think we already answered that in Rumor #1… the stormtroopers were “faking it” to let them get away.

Let’s move on now to Luke’s comment about not being able to “see a thing in this helmet.” Consider, again, the military of our day and age… or, for that matter, of any day and age past, present or future. If the layman were to acquire the best night-vision, high-tech ocular enhancement technology that the military has to offer, and were to “put it on,” do you think they would be able to “see” in it straight away? Of course not. Whether a medieval knights helmet, or a high-tech “Predator vision” thermal scope… to anyone who’s not trained in using the equipment it’s going to be cumbersome and a hinderance to say the least. Think of this, if the stormtroopers could all not see out of their armor do you not think they would’ve created helmets they could see out of?

Rumor #4 – Stormtroopers are clones.
Rumor’s origin – The Clone Wars movies and references show clone troopers as being the “beginnings” of the Empire.

While this isn’t a rumor about how stormtroopers are “bad” at anything, it is a rumor I’d like to put to rest. Stormtroopers are not clones. In fact they are enlisted men, and women, from across the galaxy. This is well documented in the Star Wars archives and online sources, novels, and even in the films… That’s right, the films show many a stormtrooper without helmets. Those men wearing the all black uniforms with the little black hats, those are stormtrooper commanders. Lord Vader is tells the stormtrooper commander on the Tantive IV to, “Send a detachment down to retrieve [the plans].” Vader is standing next to another stormtrooper officer who’s out of armor at the time, and they are obviously not clones of each other.

I hope this has helped some in dispelling the myths and rumors about ineptitude of stormtroopers. I welcome any questions or comments.

Long live the Empire!